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  Sara Rosinsky • Shiny Red Copy

sara's Shiny red blog

The strange comfort of genetics.

2/24/2018

4 Comments

 
Picture
My father and me, a while back.
There has to be a long German word to describe this phenomenon: the pleasant sensation of seeing someone who reminds you of a loved one who has died.

Has this happened to you?

Sometimes I'll see a woman in the grocery store whose hairdo and comportment are so reminiscent of my mother that I'll indulge in a moment of make-believe. I'll just hesitate for a spell and pretend that my mother is standing a few paces away from me, even though I'm well aware that she died in 2003. It's a serendipitous little mind game that's uniquely enjoyable.

I almost never get the same self-deceptive treat with a father lookalike, for some reason. Somehow, strangers don't tend to look like my father, who died in 2001.

But I'll tell you who does: my brothers. They resemble him dramatically. (I really need to find a photo of the group of them. Trust me—you would agree.)

So tonight, when my brother Doug was visiting from Brooklyn and I got to see him, it was a treat on several levels. I loved spending time with him and his daughter. I loved catching up and having some good laughs. But also, I loved seeing my father so very clearly in Doug.

I can't put my finger on it. It's not logical. It's not supernatural. But it's a very real emotional response, and I'm glad I have it.

It was nice to see you tonight, Daddy.
4 Comments
Mary Kathleen
2/25/2018 06:42:42 am

This is one of the blessings of children -- a legacy for the future. The past lives on through them. I have 6. Compare my dad's high school graduation picture with my oldest, there's a resemblance. My 4th has my dad's big ears. I remember my brother putting the oxygen tubes over his ears in his last hours and my brother mentioning about those ears. My thought: my son has those. Now I tell my son, "Don't let anyone tease you about your big ears -- Grandpa was a great man, and you've got a great man's ears."

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Sara Rosinsky link
2/26/2018 07:29:21 am

You can see in this photo that I have my father's ears, too. :)

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Chezky Larsh
2/8/2021 02:26:56 pm

Shortly after I moved to New York City, I would take the subway and see someone on the subway who looks like my half brother who passed away many years before. It used to scare me because I thought maybe my half brother hadn’t really died. Finally one day I struck up a conversation with the person and he didn’t sound anything like my half brother and I was very relieved. I’m sorry I don’t know the name of the German word you’re looking for except maybe for doppelgänger. From what I understand of the word doppelgänger is somebody who looks so much like you but is not be related to you. That person was a doppelgänger for my half brother. Apparently there are one or two doppelgängers wandering around Brooklyn because I get mistaken for other people sometimes and it really kind of weirds me out. I hope this was helpful

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Sara Rosinsky link
2/8/2021 02:28:24 pm

Thanks for sharing!

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